And They Lived Happily Ever After?
by Pretty Green Eyes
Summary: I thought this up after thinking about fairy tales. They always live happily ever after don't they? But what about the afterstory? This takes place a few years after the game and it's about Rinoa and Squall trying to find out where it all went wrong.
1. Rinoa

This is just a fic that takes place a few years after the game. No big adventures, just two people trying to find out their lives and emotions.

_~Rinoa~_

I'm here lying on my bed, trying to get to sleep. Squall wasn't beside me, again. He was working late, again. He had some essential things to get finished, again. He had no time to be with me, Julia and Raine, again.

It's like he spends more time in his office than with me and our two daughters. He even missed Julia's tenth birthday which had just gone by, hell he wasn't even there the day Raine was born just over seven years ago. Our two daughters hardly know him, and it makes me sick. I wish he would spend more time with the three of us, I understand his work is important and demanding but is it really more important than his family?

The irony of it all is that my father was the same, never there for anything. I remember my first piano recital, _he wasn't there._ My mother was there, smiling proudly at me, but my father was too busy to come, he was to busy the year after that as well, although my mother wasn't there then. That wasn't her fault, it was my father's. If he hadn't been giving out to her in the car about not turning up for his precious fundraiser she would've been able to concentrate on the road. Instead she had to put up with him, and it got her killed in the end. After that I gave up the piano, it just didn't feel the same. I like to play a few pieces every now and then, but I wasn't any good at it then, I'm no better now. My mother was the one who was good at the piano, I seem to have inherited my father's musical talent or lack or talent. 

Nether the less I remember spending hours by the piano as she patiently taught me. I used to love it, I hated the teacher I got after she died, she used to give out to me telling me that I never practiced when my father made sure I practiced everyday. I eventually gave up. I found no enjoyment in learning it anymore. My mother was never like that teacher, maybe I wasn't that good at the piano but she always told me that I was excellent and that I was  her little angel and that one day I would fall in love with a prince and that he would take me away to a far away castle. That was her dream, if only she had waited for her prince to return home. The whole irony is that I fell in love with her true love's son.

I did fall in love with Squall, but do I love him now? I don't know, I thought that love lasted forever, but I've been having doubts recently. Does he love me now? Did he ever love me? Or was I just convenient for his whole political image? I don't care anymore, alright that's a lie, I _do_ care, but I've learned to cope, but what about Raine and Julia? Does he love them? Does he even care about them? I know he does care about them, but he's lousy at showing it, but what kills me is that I don't know if he loves them or not. My Father never loved me, just like he never loved my mother, she didn't love him either. At least I loved Squall at one stage.

Do I really not love him anymore? I remember when we first became a couple that I would jump in front of a bus for him if I had to, but when Julia came along, things just changed. She became my number one priority, and so was Raine when she came along. Both of them still are, but Squall...could he not accept that he wasn't the only person in my life? Hyne forbid, if it came down to it, I'd choose Julia and Raine over Squall without a moment's hesitation. I know it sounds harsh, but it's the truth, and even when I was still deeply in love with Squall that would've been my decision, I'd like to think that he'd chose his two daughters over me if it ever came to it. That's the curse about being a mother, your no longer on top, it's your children. I'd murder for the two of them, just forget I ever said that if I wind up in court one day.

I don't know who Squall is anymore. When I first met him he was quiet and reclusive, he hated opening up to others, but slowly I managed to slip through the cracks and get him to open up. I remember we'd spend hours just talking about everything from our favourite foods to our inner thoughts. He doesn't talk to me anymore. He's hidden behind his masks again. It's almost as if he's a complete stranger now. I worked so hard to get him to open up to me, and for what? For him to ignore me? For him to roll over to the other side of the bed and tell me he's had a long day whenever I want to have a serious conversation? For him to never hold me tightly like he used to when I was upset? _For him to completely ignore his two daughters?___

I can't take this anymore, I have to talk to him. I can't put it off for any longer. When he comes home tonight, if he comes home at all that is, I'm going to talk to him, it's not fair on either of us or our daughters.


	2. Squall

_~Squall~_

I can't stand this paperwork, I've never liked being a commander, I prefer field work. All I am is a diplomat who signs documents and fills them out. I never get to go and fight anymore, unless you count the pathetic Grat's in the training centre. I order people in times of war without fighting myself. I suppose the only reason I bury myself in work is to get away from another burden, _my family_.

Yeah, I'm a bastard who doesn't spend time with my family, go me. I guess abandoning your family runs in my genes, I hope for both my daughters sake that it's just a co-incidence that I'm the exact same as my father. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but...well it's complicated. I don't even fully understand it.

Ten years, and twenty three days ago my life changed. I was barely twenty two when Julia was born. Everybody said that Rinoa and I were too young to be raising a child, turns out they were right, go figure. Selphie and Irvine's son was only born three years ago, and the second is on the way. Zell never had any children, although it seems that he's been more of a dad to Julia and Raine, he's their 'uncle' Zell, in other words they wish he was their father and not me. For Hyne's sake, he was there when Raine was born and I wasn't, the nurse at the hospital didn't believe I was the father when I came to the hospital, they had assumed that Zell was the Father.

 Quistis is now expecting, I don't know how she's going to handle it. She never met another man, she gave up on it eventually, she just wanted a baby so she went out and did it. I don't think I'll ever understand her decision, she was a top instructor and one day she just decides to leave Garden for good and raise a child.

It got me thinking, do women just marry a man because they think he'll make a good father? Well, not in my case it seems. I'm not going to deny that I'm not a good father, let me rephrase that, I'm a pathetic excuse of a Father. Don't get me wrong, I'd sooner die than let any harm come to either of my daughters, but apart from that what have I done for them? I missed Julia's tenth birthday, she told me she didn't mind, but I could tell I hurt her. I'll never forgive myself for that. In all honesty, I did try to make it, but something came up. I got her the biggest present in the shop, but that couldn't make up for what I did.

This is why I never wanted children in the first place, it was hard enough trying to be a decent boyfriend let alone a father. I was alright at the whole boyfriend thing, but I'm unforgivably abysmal at being a Father and husband. I don't know why Rinoa puts up with me, I really don't. 

I'm never there for her. I suppose it's because she devoted all our time to our daughters, it caused me to become jealous. There, I said it, I'm jealous of my two wonderful daughters because they get all the attention from Rinoa and rightly so, Hyne knows I don't give them the attention they deserve. I didn't know how to handle it, it was all so new and it happened too fast. I can't help but feel that if I had even been a few years older when Julia was born things would've been different. I might've been that bit more mature. 

When I met Rinoa, I was used to relying only on myself, she taught me to rely on others. I wasn't ready to let others rely on me though, yes thousands of SeeD's rely on me to make important decisions every day of the week, but that's different. I wasn't ready to let a child rely on me, and now Rinoa, Julia and Raine are paying the price for something that's not their fault. 

I'm no better than Laguna or Caraway, I've never been there for my daughters. I used to condemn the two of them for never being there, but look at me now? I'm the exact same. _I'm a hypocrite._


	3. Truth hurts

Squall Leonhart headed back to his house in Balmb, he could've lived in Garden but there would've been no room for his family. It was only a fifteen minute drive to Balmb, so he didn't mind too much. He drove through the sleepy village, it was late and most people were in a deep slumber by now.

He arrived at his house, he noticed the upstairs bedroom light was on. Rinoa was still awake, Squall cursed inwardly. Whenever she was still up it meant she wanted to talk to him, although he usually told her he was tired and told her it could wait. She'd usually complain a bit until he just rolled over and went to sleep. He felt like a bastard every time he did it, but he was usually just too tired to talk. He never talked to her anymore, work was more important, and he was tired from working.

He trudged up to the room, and there was his wife sitting on the bed staring at him,

"Squall, we need to-"

"Tomorrow." He mumbled, she glared at him,

"No, not this time. I know that you won't talk to me tomorrow and I'll be damned if you put this off for any longer." She said firmly, Squall was taken aback by his wife's sudden change in tone.

"Look Rin,"

"No. You always do this, well let me tell you something. I'm tired of it, and I'm tired of you coming home late,"

"I had to work!" Squall protested,

"And I'm tired of you missing out on your daughter's lives. They do exist you know," She said sarcastically,

"Look, I said I was sorry about missing Julia's party," Squall began,

"And you were also sorry about missing her ballet recital, her school play, her hockey match, the day she began to talk, the day she began to walk, and every other countless thing that you missed. Don't forget about Raine either, she's also your daughter, where were you the day she was born? Where were you the day she said her first word? Where were you on her first day of school? I'm not going to list everything, because you know what you missed. If you don't show any interest in me, fine so be it, but how dare you ignore your two daughters!"

"Rinoa, I'm sorry! But I have to work a lot!"

"It always comes down to your damn job, doesn't it? You've sacrificed an amazing family for a job you hate!" Rinoa yelled, by now she had stood up. 

"It puts food on the table!" Squall yelled, "It pays for their education, it pays for their doctor bills, it pays for their clothes, it pays for their toys, it pays for everything they need!"

"It doesn't pay for everything they need, they need a father and nothing can pay for that! They love you Squall, they look up to you and they'd do anything for you to at least acknowledge their existence. Squall, we have plenty of money, if you were to quit your job in the morning we'd have enough money in the bank account to keep us going, but most importantly, Julia and Raine would have a father!" 

"So that's what you want me to do? Give up my job, give up my whole life?" Squall snapped

"You're family is your life too, or at least they should be!" Rinoa retorted.

"What about what I want? Maybe I don't want to give up my job!" Squall yelled,

"I don't believe that for one second, you hate that job and you know it!" 

"Maybe so, but it's the only thing that gets me away from you and your constant complaining!" If Squall could change one thing that happened in his entire life, he would've changed what he had just said. The look of hurt and dismay on Rinoa's face was enough to make him want to kill himself, he couldn't believe what he had just said. "Rinoa, I'm sorry," He said trying to comfort her, "I didn't mean what I just said," He said placing a hand on her shoulder, she pushed his hand off forcefully. Although he refused to admit it, he did feel that way and he loathed himself for it.

"You did mean it!" She yelled spitefully, "Otherwise you wouldn't have said it." She began to cry, "I loved you Squall." Squall cringed at her harsh words, they were in the past tense. "But I can't cope with this anymore, for the past ten years I've devoted every emotion to Julia and Raine because you don't care about them."

"I do care about them!" Squall protested,

"And I complain because I've received fuck all support from you! Don't go on about how you were financially supporting us, because that's bullshit! We've always had enough money from the Ultimecia mission and from what my father left us! When he died, I cried. Not because I loved him, but because he treated me the exact way you treat Julia and Raine. I spent my entire life wishing he cared about me! And then he was gone, and I'll never know if he cared at all, he sure as hell never showed it! Do you want your daughters to be the same on the day of your funeral?"

"Rinoa, I do care about them, I'd do anything for them."

"You'd do anything money can buy, but when involves showing that you love them or being there when they truly need you, that's when you ignore them! They don't know that you care about them, and they'll never know unless you start putting in a bit of effort now! Now answer my question, do you want them to feel the same way I feel about my father on the day of your funeral?"

Squall paused for a moment, "No..." He whispered,

"Then at least come home at a reasonable hour so we can all have dinner together or at least be there on their birthday and other special occasions! At least tell them you love them once in a while!"

"Rinoa, I wish it was that simple."

"What's the problem? Is it because I'm around as well? Squall, for Hyne's sake! Today they told me that you didn't care about them, I tried to tell them you did but I wasn't so sure myself! But I did it anyway, for your sake! If I can do that, then you can at least pretend you don't resent me!"

"Resent you? Rinoa, I don't resent you!"

"Well you sure as hell don't seem to love me!" 

"I do Rinoa!" 

"Look me in the eye and tell me that you love me!" Rinoa's voice was shaking, she wanted to think that he could look her in the eye and tell her that he loved her they way he used to, but in her heart she knew he couldn't.

"Rinoa, I-" He began, he looked down, why the hell couldn't he say it? "Rinoa, please,"

"Don't." She said firmly, "Spare me the excuses,"

"Please, hear me out!" Squall asserted, unsure of what he was going to say, what was there to say?

"No Squall, I don't need to hear it. You don't love me anymore, there's nothing I can do about that, just at least show your daughter's that you care about them. Your feelings towards me isn't my main priority, but Raine and Julia's feelings are." She wasn't shouting at him, although he wished she was.

"It's not like that Rinoa!"

"Then what's it like?" Rinoa asked. Squall couldn't answer, he opened and closed his mouth a few times, "I thought so," Rinoa said forlornly, "I'm going to bed. Good night Squall."

She climbed into the bed and pulled the covers over her, she managed to hide the sounds of her sobs, but the tears came pouring uncontrollably out of her eyes, she just hoped Squall wouldn't see, the last thing she needed was him trying to comfort her.

Squall stood rooted the spot unsure of what to do next, should he hold her and tell her he's sorry? Should he leave? Or should he just stay there? He never felt so lost in his entire life, he wanted to tell her he loved her, but he wasn't so sure he did anymore. He left the room and went for a walk, he need some serious thinking time.


	4. Two Lost People

_~Rinoa~_

So this is how it is? He doesn't love me anymore, did he even love me in the first place? I don't know what to think anymore. 

I never had any idea that something like this could hurt this much, I thought I had prepared for the inevitable before he came home, turns out there are some things you can't prepare for, and this is one of those things. I remember when we were young and naïve that I said I'd be okay if it was his blade that pierced my heart if I became the world's enemy, well last night his words pierced my heart and it hurt.

_My constant complaining?_ Well maybe I wouldn't complain if he didn't act like his family is not at all a part of his life. What am I supposed to do? Be one of those people only says "That's nice honey," and agree with everything he wants, _what about what I want? What about what Raine and Julia wants and need?_ He's not the only person in this family, I'm not going to do what my mother did and bend over backwards for him. I don't want to leave him, but I will if he keeps on going the way he is. Damn him, _I still love him. _

I hate myself for being so weak, after all he's done, or not done depending on how you look at it, I should be able to kick him out. I should be able to tell him to go live in Garden and then he can stay in his precious office all the damn time! But I can't, I need him damn it, I just wish that he felt the same way...

My mother was the exact same. I could never understand why she was like that until now, nether the less, I have to pull it together, and I have to be strong. I'll succeed were my mother failed, I won't waste my life waiting for him to come around. I just hope I can do this…I have to, but can I?

***

_~Squall~_

I remember when I was a teenager and hearing other people going on about how _"He said he loved me last night."_ I used to think _"What's the big deal?"_ I thought that that no matter what, words are just words. Last night I learned just how important those simple three words are.

"_I love you."_

The first time I ever told Rinoa that I loved her, it felt so easy, just like saying hello. Last night I just couldn't say it, _why?_ I don't know..._do I still love her?_

Of course I do...or do I? Ah, this is hurting my head, this is what happens when I think too much.

Yeah, this is typical me, when a problem comes up just ignore it and hope that it goes away. Well look at were it got me. I'll never forget that look on her face when I couldn't tell her how I felt. I wish she had started shouting at me afterwards, it would've been easier than hearing the sadness in her voice. Anger is easier to deal with than sorrow.

Hyne what the hell is wrong with me? The only thing Irvine and Selphie fight about is who gets to spend more time with their son! The change in Irvine when Cid was born, it was incredible. He rarely takes any missions and they're usually quick ones, anything that lasts longer than a few days he refuses to accept! He's one of the best snipers for hire, yet he gave it all up for his son. Selphie left Garden and opened a party shop in Balmb, although she still helps out with the Garden festival, surprise, surprise! 

How is it that Irvine can be such a great dad yet I can't do it? I have two magnificent daughters, everybody tells me that. Why can't I see it? I've heard that no matter how horrible, ugly, bold, stupid or pathetic your child is you think of them as the world. My two daughters are far from any of that, yet my priority isn't them, it's that damn Garden. It was the same with Laguna, his priority wasn't Ellone, Raine or me in the end it was Esthar, look where that got him. Is that how I want to end up? No, then why am I letting history repeat itself. Maybe there was a reason behind Ellone's visions.

Oh dear Hyne, am I doomed to make the same mistakes as the man who is my Father? No, I can't let that happen, what the hell have I been doing for the past ten years? I can't get those ten years back, but what about the rest of my life? Can I get that before it's too late? I know what I have to do…can I do it though? I've never been one for swallowing my pride, guess it's a trait of the lion, but look were that's gotten me. For Hyne's sake, look at were all my actions have gotten me. Rinoa was right, I have to change my ways, or I might never be able to salvage a relationship with Raine and Julia, will they forgive me for ignoring them their whole lives, I hope to Hyne they will. I can't expect them to though, I can't forgive Laguna, I can't blame them if they don't want a relationship with me. My life is such a mess, and I let it get to that.


	5. The End of Fairy Tales

_Authors Notes: Yes! I know it took me a while to update! I was busy with exams and by the time they were over I wasn't sure how to finish this story of, (no this is not the last chapter,) because when I started out I had thought of about 3 different endings, so I've finally made up my mind and here it is!_

Rinoa had slipped into a very uneasy slumber that night, Squall's inability to tell her he loved her had hurt her more than she could've possibly thought. Was their marriage over now? Or would they stay together for the sakes of their daughters and their image? She didn't know, no matter what she told herself she still loved him. Damn him, why did he have to make her life so hard? Why did she still love him? She didn't know. She knew she had to be strong though.

She heard familiar footsteps from downstairs, it was Squall he had come home again. She looked over at the clock, it was a quarter past ten. She had overslept, she hadn't even heard the alarm. She leaped out of bed and ran into Julia and Raine's room to get them up for school. Her heart stopped, they weren't in there. She ran down the stairs, to Squall.

"Squall! Julia and Raine aren't in there rooms! I over slept, I should've been up earlier to get them ready for school,"

"Relax. They're in school now, I took them this morning," Rinoa wasn't sure if she had heard Squall right, "I'm taking the day off, you're right, we need to talk." Rinoa sat down, she had a thousand and one things she wanted to say to him, but she couldn't find the words.

"Squall," She had to get in first, "I need to know now, where do we stand?" She asked hesitantly,

Squall sighed, "I honestly don't know." He said,

"Well that's not good enough, I need to know. I can't just keep waiting for you to come around."

"I know, and I'm not asking you to. That's why I want to talk, so we can figure out were we stand." Squall sat down next to her,

"Where did we go wrong?" Rinoa asked, although she knew the answer, she needed to hear it from him.

Squall took a deep breath, he knew Rinoa wasn't going to want to hear this, nor did he want to say it, but he had to. After ten years of not being around, he had to pay the price. "When Julia came along, I…I became jealous. I didn't know how to handle being a dad, and I was too fucking proud to admit it. I severely messed up,"

"That would be an understatement," Rinoa said bitterly. Her instincts had proved right, and she hated it.

"I wasn't ready to be a father."

"So what did you want me to do? Carry Julia inside of me until you were, she came and whether either of us was ready or not didn't matter, she needed parents, that's all that mattered. I'm not the best mother in the world, I know that, but I tried, and that's more than I can say for you! You were pitiable excuse of a father!" Rinoa yelled,

"I…I deserved that."

"No Squall, you deserve a lot more than that!" Rinoa shouted,

"Rinoa, I…" Squall paused, he couldn't fight back, she was right, there was no excuse for what he did.

"Squall!" Said in frustration, but she shook her head, "Just, forget it. There's no point." Her voice was barely more audible than a whisper,

"No, please…tell me." Squall said, he didn't want to hear it, but he knew that if he wanted to salvage anything, he had to be able to take the punches thrown at him, Rinoa squeezed her eyes shut as she felt them swelling with silent tears, she didn't want to let Squall see them though, he did though. "Rinoa…" He said sympathetically,

"No!" She shouted, "Don't you even think of trying to be my knight in shining armour! I've gotten this far with you ignoring me, I can manage without you! I've had to for the past ten years!" She said bitterly, Squall opened his mouth as if to say something but he didn't. "When I found out I was pregnant with Julia, I was scared, God I didn't know how I was going to handle it! Then you said that everything would be alright! You promised me that you'd be there! Maybe you were there for the first few months, but after that? No, you were working! Then when I realised I was on my own and I panicked, but I decided not to talk to you about it because I was scared of what you might do, but by the time Raine started to get bigger, I knew I had made a mistake. By then it was too late, I knew I wouldn't be able to get through to you, but I tried anyway, and of course, you ignored me. I keep thinking, maybe if I had pestered you earlier on, then maybe we wouldn't be in this situation now," Rinoa said with the tears flowing out of her eyes, even after all that Squall had done she was still punishing herself,

"Rin…this wasn't your fault, you're the one who was there for them, I'm the one who isn't. Don't you dare blame yourself for my mistakes," Squall said firmly,

"So you think by admitting it that it'll be alright now?" Rinoa asked silently, "We both made mistakes in the past, I've done all I can, now it's your turn." Rinoa said turning to Squall, "We're finished, we finished a long time ago, there's no point in trying anymore." Squall shut his eyes, as much as her words stung, they were true, the young star crossed lovers had grown up, the fairy tale was over, they didn't get the 'happily ever after' they had dreamed of. "But it's not too late to at least salvage some sort of relationship with your daughters."


End file.
